Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.

Lo and behold.

2009-08-01T23:29:18Z

The day has finally come for me to head off to visit the peeps down in Oz. I have packed many wondrous treasures, excluding all but the most magical and delicious of items as my cats looked on in rapt fascination.

I believe that somehow they've begun to ken just exactly when I'm about to leave on my little jaunts. All of them have been hanging around my packing area all morning, despite the fact that the rest of the house offers substantively cooler temperatures. It is possible that they wished to accompany me, actually; at one point Cleo climbed into my suitcase and laid down as if to impart that she were claiming the space for her own mysterious feline passtimes. It was sadly not to be, however- my suitcase is quite large, and she leapt from within before I could pull the zipper closed.

So mates, you'll have me but not my kitties. Alas.

I do have a three hour stop at Vancouver airport while I wait for the lovely people at Air Canada to ready my illustrious vessel, so drabble requests are your perogative, ladies and gents.

I'll attempt to amuse myself with them on the plane, if nothing else.

If you're around the neighborhood, don't hesitiate to shoot me an email or leave a comment. I'll be staying with Wrat and Leareth in Sydney and hitting Cairns for some diving around about the 23rd of August.

See y'all in a month!

I AM STILL LAUGHING.

2009-05-13T22:08:06Z

see more pwn and owned pictures

Fuck me, I'm so Canadian.

2009-05-11T23:44:08Z

I got a new short sleeved dress(?) shirt (Well, more casual really. Got a shoulder pocket for a doobie and isn't exactly something you'd wear to the office, but I digress.) that I'm planning on wearing in Ecuador. It looks hot and fits great, and.... has a picture of Fidel Castro on it with the words "REBEL LIBERATOR OR DICTATOR?" emblazoned above it.

For the last half hour I've been on google making sure it doesn't offend anyone in the country I'm going to.

SEE TITLE, WTF.

choffman @ 2009-03-26T03:29:00

2009-03-26T10:31:15Z

I got RE5 today. And didn't have time to play more than a few hours of it since Ari has to work tomorrow and I have class at 1:00 but but but

HHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH NGH NGH OH GOD OH YES OH GOD.

FFnnnnggghhh.

2009-03-20T20:59:56Z

Argh. Lesson learned. Never preordering from Amazon.ca again.

Delivery estimate for RE5: Mar 26 2009

Edit: lol you guys. The comments for this entry, in order, read, "Ouch. NO BALLS. D: "

choffman @ 2009-03-05T00:29:00

2009-03-05T08:30:05Z

To everyone who sent me birthday wishes...

Thank you.

Fffffhahahahahaahahaha!

2009-03-04T20:16:43Z

Pimping

2009-02-28T08:31:20Z

Put up Main/Shinji fst. Go take a look if you're so inclined.

..And even if you're not, I promise you'll get some good music out of it.

PSA

2009-02-21T10:16:14Z

It's been a while since I've had to come out about anything.

The last time I did, I was about fifteen or sixteen. I was coming out as bisexual, and it wasn't an ordeal; I let it be known to a private circle of my closest friends, and let people react as they would. It was well-recieved, and to date I've never had a problem regarding people's knowledge of this fact.

Now that I have to do it again... it feels the same. Like I shouldn't (and I shouldn't need to) make an announcement for the entire world. I should just go about my life as I always do and let people find out about me on their own time... or perhaps never find out. Ideally, that is what I'd do, and sadly life isn't ideal. I can't just settle in this time and have people gradually warm up to me, because on the internet there are those of you I've met and I've talked to who know me as someone different from who I am. Those of you here can't see me in real life- either often or at all. You can't recognize changes in me and react accordingly, simply because you are not here to witness them.

For you, I need to come out.

I am agendered. Not male or female, but both and neither. The person I see in my mind's eye is not the person I see in the mirror.

What that means to me, at the moment, is that I'm going to endeavor with whatever resources I have to make the me in my head match the me on the outside. It means I currently bind my chest in public. It means in the future I'm probably going to start testosterone injections. It means I'm considering chest masculinization surgery. It means that in the future I might ask you all to refer to me as "he".

What it means to you is that I don't want you to refer to me as female anymore.

I'd appreciate it if you will all try - and I know it's a difficult thing for me to ask of you - to avoid pronouns for now. I'd be immensely grateful.

Thank you.

Shenanigans

2009-02-11T00:01:51Z

Ugggh. In horrible pain and unable to eat. Just going to go die now.

First comes love, then comes forgiveness...
But a widowed military man struggling during the Depression doesn't have much faith in either, until he meets fiery Raido Kuzunoha in New York City at the boardinghouse they share. He's an international jet-setter who could love his boy and heal his own heart- but how can Shohei Narumi trust a adventurous man in the profession he blames for his greatest loss?
Raido Kuzunoha understands Shohei Narumi's pain. He has his own secret anguish, and believes his dreams of a husband and child are beyond reach. Still, he can pretend when he asks him to play his temporary fiance to protect his son. And if Yatagarasu would grant him one miracle, he knows exactly what his adventurous heart is yearning for....

lol davethebrave made me.

IMPORTANT

2009-02-07T20:57:25Z

Your attention please.

Those of you involved in rp communities here on lj have likely already noticed that there has been a rash of serial adders under different journals of late. These users, for example, may have been popping up to add one or all of your character journals, as well as many of your friends'. This usually occurs once or twice and may involve all or part of the members of a community. This is an alert that these journals are likely promoting a pyramid scheme and should be reported to lj abuse immediately. [ http://www.livejournal.com/abuse/report.bml ]

Please copy and paste this message into your own journal or on your communities to inform others. The offer these journals are promoting is a scam, with the intent of preying upon younger or more naive livejournal users, and it is a violation of the terms of service.

Thank you.

choffman @ 2009-02-05T01:48:00

2009-02-05T09:48:35Z

LJ is still not letting me post properly and it's getting really fucking BALLS. I keep having to type these up in wordpad.

So, Korean food with marri was pretty much awesome. When we arrived it was absolutely packed, and consequently the service was a bit slow to start off with. In fact, there was even a bit of waiting to get a table. Honestly though, that part was not terribly unpleasant- we were in a good position to people-watch out the glass front of the restaurant and be watched in return.

It was actually a little heartwarming, in a manner of speaking. In my case the people mainly doing the watching were a couple of bright-eyed and adorable asian children who couldn't have been more than 2 and 3. They noticed us straight away - not a minute after we sat down to wait - and the older of the two (a girl with long hair and an enraptured smile) pointed at me in a manner that translates across all languages: a very clear and definite, "Mommy, look!" They were admonished of course, but that didn't stop it at all. The pointing continued until the girl was bodily turned back around in her seat.

Now, normally I percieve children rationally. I recognize them as the vile, germ-ridden, disgusting little beasts they are. However, I do remember being a child myself. It may or may not be in keeping with the majority of adults, but my childhood memories are the most numerous and vivid that I have. And children, being what they are, generally point and look at an object or person because they've found something out of the ordinary and wondrous to their pliable little brains. This, I can't begrudge. In fact, I'm usually glad to have earned it. To my mind that look means I've planted an image and given them a concept they've never had before, even if they're not sure entirely what they're looking at yet. Pointing means they deem it interesting enough to ask what it is they are seeing. There's no telling, usually, if they'll remember what it is they wanted to ask by the time five minutes has passed, but this was not one of those usual moments.

A little later in our dining experience, as eating was winding down, the second of the two children - the younger who I'd guess was possibly one and a half, still toddling along with the help of adult hands - passed by our table on what I must assume was a trip to the bathroom. As he noticed me he raised his hand once more and pointed, looking up at the man I assumed to be his father.

Something in my mind registered a tiny, personal triumph.

Not original, but I like it.

2009-02-01T00:31:38Z

When you see this, post your favorite poem in your journal.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

heart

2009-01-23T23:42:13Z

Black coffee, a half melted chardonnay truffle, and thin crust pizza dough rising on the stove.

Cleo is sitting on the windowsill while I read my biology textbook.

Oh Biology Textbook

2009-01-15T09:27:35Z

"Sea stars, sea urchins, and other echinoderms... may seem to have little in common with phylum Chordata, which includes the vertebrates- animals which have a backbone. In fact, however..."

...in fact, however.

IN FACT, HOWEVER.

If I come out of the sciences with my grammar intact, I am going to consider it a miracle.

Observations In A Public Place

2009-01-12T20:35:11Z

I was about to post a big growly post about how I'm tired and bawwwww life and sundry, but I just found a loonie on a chair.

Loonie. :3

* * *

People watching is one of my favorite things to do, and I've got the best setup going on here in my corner, sequestered away by a vending machine. People purchase coffee every now and again, and construction workers are sitting down to lunch. Two girls walk toward the lounge clutching beverage cups, their eyebrows raise, and they turn straight around again in perfect unison with their noses tilted up ever so slightly. Too crowded.

A heavyset manboy with facial growth - who wears a hat that you might imagine on a hobbyist lake fisherman - walks with an uneven, tilting gait, down the full length of the lobby. It's like his gut is propelling his entire body forward. He looks furitively around him as he goes- as if on some level he's aware that I'm watching him. I notice that he favors his right leg before he passes from my line of sight.

Everyone who enters from the side door at the opposite end of the hall (coming in from the old Elliot wing) paces around with alert expressions. Their eyebrows pull up and crinkle their foreheads, and their mouths open slightly as they glance up, down, to the side in quick motions. They look perpetually lost, but walk fast to cover it; this is a new building after all.

I and every other guy in here look up when a pretty girl gets up to leave, our eyes all centered in the same concentrated effort to see as much as we can of her ass before she rounds the corner.

We resume our business as soon as she is gone.

This is the best thing I have seen this week.

2009-01-12T02:03:02Z

Brokencyde - Freaxxx (Music Video) from Eat Cake Films on Vimeo.

I have never seen better performance art, yet sources claim these fellows are serious musicians. Either way, the comment list on the website is the clearest litmus test for over and under 13 that I have ever seen in my life.

choffman @ 2009-01-10T14:47:00

2009-01-10T22:50:47Z

Some of the larger aquatic species mate by penis fencing, a duel in which each tries to impregnate the other, and the loser adopts the female role of developing the eggs.

In the next life, I'm coming back as a Pseudobiceros bedfordian.

THIS JUST IN.

2009-01-01T00:39:34Z

In 2009, ariseishirou resolves to...

Ask my boss for a seishirou.
Go to raidou every Sunday.
Take evening classes in cyberpunk.
Backup my persona regularly.
Admit my true feelings to mithrigil.
Stop fencing with sixblackcandles.

End of the year memes.

2008-12-31T21:02:51Z

JAN: Last I recall hearing... if you ate nothing but people for a while you'd get malnourished pretty quickly, wouldn't you?
FEB: First time in a long time that I've actually f-locked a post, but I need a bit of a bitching.
MAR: Wrrrry am I the only person ever who loves Narumi?!
APR: I will not fuck this up.
MAY: Well, c'mon, all the cool kids are doing it.
JUN: So.. second day of the Velocity diet, over.
JUL: Yes, I know. Shocking.
AUG: I haven't been this consumed by a project in a long, long time.
SEP: "Awww, look at it, he's so cute- OH GOD HIS CROTCH IS MOVING."
OCT: Watch it and DO IT.
NOV: How many of you are doing something today that you'd rather not be?
DEC: Right.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Used a pattern to sew for cosplay/cosplayed in public without going to a Con, was involved in a head-on collision, returned to university, had a pedicure at a spa, spoke at a funeral, visited a psychiatrist by choice, ate snake venom, cut my hair shorter than 4 inches, caused a flood of biblical proportions by my presence alone. ;p Met a lot of awesome new people.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Surprisingly, yes. I've slowly gotten back into writing, cared less about conforming to society's standards, and made fitness gains all according to plan. My resolutions every year tend to be the same resolutions and I don't think they're going to change much this year. I still want to be fitter than I am, produce more creative works, and be the change I want to see in the world.

3. Did someone close to you give birth?
An aquaintance I used to be pretty familiar with back in high school did. She's on my facebook? Yep.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Freda Harder, Joanna's grandmother and a lady I knew better than any of my grandparents. Rest in peace.

5. What countries did you visit?
J-j-j-jayland.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Time for people and a better head for schoolwork. My old groove is still not exactly back. Oh, and the capacity to actually do all those cool things I keep "thinking of doing" scuba lessons, this means you.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Not great with dates. I'll carry certain memories to the grave, but dates can gtfo.

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
I managed to write a few good shorts and even start a multipart piece, writing wise. My anatomy and perspective in my art have levelled up considerably. I can now bench 60lbs, which is over twice what I could after my surgery.

9. What was your biggest failure?
...FFFFF B+ IN BIOLOGY, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME SO?!!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Injury but not illness. NOT ILLNESS. Holy crap.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Almost everyone's did at some point. I know some amazing people, apparently.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The answer to this is tl;dr and not something to be shared on the internets, but suffice it to say: one of Ari's mom's friends.

14. Where did most of your money go?
School and travel.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Comiket. Really really. I haven't been that excited about something in years.

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2008?
Coldplay - Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends

17. Compared to this time last year, are you...
I. Happier or sadder?: About the same, but I've been happier throughout the year.
II. Thinner or fatter?: A few pounds lighter.
III. Richer or poorer?: About the same.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercising. Cooking. Keeping in touch with people.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying. <-- Fucking seconded.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Next year? I don't know, ask me then.

21. What was your favorite month of 2008?
I don't have one, they were all some good months.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes. With wredwrat's rat, Milton. Now you know my real reason for wanting to go to Aussieland.

23. How many one-night stands?
NO U.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Supernatural, probably.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I really don't hate anyone.

26. What was the best book you read?
Currently reading This Is Your Brain On Music. It's definitely up there.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
That Coldplay no longer sucks, and Pendulum and Hybrid are still amazing.

28. What did you want and get?
Love, respect, change.

29. What did you want and not get?
World peace and prosperity, and a greater mutual understanding for humankind.

30. Favorite film of this year?
Oh damn, this is tough. I saw a lot of good movies this year. I think I'm really going to have to go with Tropic Thunder though. Seriously awesome times.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Twenty~~five~~, here. Ari took me out for dinner to a very nice restaurant and then proceeded to totally infuriate me by telling me that she'd been there with someone before and try to make me guess who it was. I couldn't guess. She still hasn't told me. I HATE YOU ARI.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A goddamn A- in Biology.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Fashion? What?

34. What kept you sane?
My incredible friends, irl and online. I love you guys.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
This question fucking sucks. I don't get crushes, and I don't give a shit about celebrities.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Prop 8. I felt terrible for my CA friends.

37. Who do you miss?
Everyone I've met on my flist irl.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
This is a very crappy question.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Don't trust the life lessons you read on the internet.

choffman @ 2008-12-18T14:07:00

2008-12-18T22:07:06Z

So. The first question on my exam yesterday:

Which of the following polysaccharides is not a homopolymer of glucose?

a) amylose
b) chitin
c) amylopectin
d) glycogen
e) cellobiose

I cannot even freaking believe I got it right. I had to go back after I had taken the exam, rush back out to my car and hurriedly look up the answer. I only figured it out through elimination. Since amylopectin and glycogen are chemically similar, only glycogen is more fully branched.

How many of you know the answer? Hard mode: no wikipedia or google. Super hard mode: name the glucose derivative.

It's the end of the term. The end of one round of exams, but just the start of my life for the next... Well, hopefully for the rest of it.

I missed this, honestly. Back when I was younger... very young... the only thing I would do at recess was sitting and reading books because I wanted to learn. I didn't earn any friends that way (Literally. I didn't have any friends.) because it made everyone think I was weird and undesirable, but it made me feel confident. I was living for myself, not for other people. As much as I piss and moan about grades, I don't feel validated as a person unless I can make myself achieve that distinction. And when I don't feel like my life is validated, I don't feel like I need to continue living. Some people have relationships and family- I have my love of knowledge and my personal ambitions.

I feel like I'm coming back into what I was meant to be. I never should have tried to change myself to be more accepted; it doesn't work, really. I'm always going to be someone who thrives on achieving, and people are always going to find it repugnant to some degree. I'm always going to value my intelligence and my values more than I value peoples' opinions of me. Keener. Brain. Brown-noser. Arrogant. Whatever guys, you do realize that you're calling me smart, don't you?

I'm never going to be a very social creature either. I feel like the boat has sailed on that one. I had my chance at marriage- a totally different life that I could have reached out and grabbed if I wanted it. I felt I saw the moment swimming in front of me... and every fibre of my being cried out to reject it.

This is it. This is where I saw my life heading when I was six. The only difference is the time it's taken me to get here.. but I think I'm glad for it. Now, I'm prepared for what I'll have to face to get where I want and I know how the rest of the world works and what it thinks.

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

Yes, I will.

lolitislate

2008-12-14T12:29:26Z

choffman @ 2008-12-10T22:23:00

2008-12-11T07:23:37Z

It wasn't that long ago I was into X/1999.

Back when I didn't care that the characters were caricatures, and I overlooked the fact that nothing ever really happened in the story. Back when I wasn't yet given to fits of uncontrollable laughter (or scarcely contained distaste) over the seme/uke dynamic. Hell, back when I even used those words, come to think of it.

That was perhaps a better time in fandom; when yaoi was still yaoi and everyone knew it was a fairytale land that didn't exist in real life. When it didn't feel cheap to use the words japanese fandom had invented to describe these unreal, overdramatized love stories where men didn't act like "men" at all, because we wanted something different than what we were getting. And we were making it ourselves, on our own terms. We might have been young, but we knew we didn't want what hollywood was peddling. Besides, back then everyone understood YA-O-I: No peak, No Point, No Meaning. No one got it confused with the real world, and we laughed and scorned anyone who got mad because real gay men "don't act that way". Of course they don't, we were making our own fantasy. Holding our own quiet little sexual rebellion of sorts even though no one was taking it that seriously.

I remember a time when X was good because it was slash bait. When said slash bait wasn't being waved at us in every series under a veil so thin even the fanboys are catching on. It has become cheap and it feels that way: shoddy, fabricated and meant to sell games and anime. It's come to a point when I look up and realize I can't tell the difference between new series anymore. Geass Lagann 00.

And yes, things like this have always happened. Many people have pointed out the wave of Sephiroths that came about after FFVII. They were bait too, and they were treated like the rip-offs we all knew they were. But for some reason we as fans of BL can't seem to figure out for ourselves when someone has just slapped emo bishounen in tight pants clone#193 in front of us. Why? Are we suddenly complacent in our age of shitty hooks, content to lap up what producers are selling us because it's moe? What happened to the fun of slashing characters because they so obviously weren't meant to be gay, but we could read something else into those burning, combative looks they were giving each other across the battlefield/restaurant/stadium/classroom? What happened to breaking the roles they shoved in front of us and interpreting a story how we wanted to see it?

When the hell did my subversion become marketable?

Well fuck it, I'm not buying. I'm not biting. I'm not into X anymore, and with the way this is all going I think I'm going to start slashing the het pairings.

Recipe time

2008-12-11T01:24:23Z

In the interests of a few people on my flist who enjoy eating vegetarian (or can't tolerate meat) but have trouble finding ways to fit in all the nutrients one needs daily, I've been experimenting with a greens supplement in cooking. It comes in a powder and the instructions suggest to mix it into liquid and drink it, but I find it tastes absolutely vile, so I figured if I could work it into other recipes I'd reap the benefits without wanting to hurl.

I made this tonight. Makes good, filling, tasty vegetarian burritos, and delivers protien, carbs and 4 full servings of vegetables if the greens supplement is used.

1/3 cup brown medium grain rice
1 single shot can V8 vegetable drink
1 cup water
1/2 tsp dried cilantro (if using fresh, reserve)
1/2 can mixed beans
1/4 can refried pinto beans
3 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp cumin
2 tsp GreensRx nutritional supplement
hot sauce of choice to taste
salt to taste
optional: onions, tomatoes, green or red peppers, green onion

On stovetop add rice, V8, water, cilantro (if dry), and 1/2 chili powder. Simmer at medium heat until rice is cooked through. Add mixed beans and refried beans. Mash gently. Add remaining spices, nutritional supplement, hot sauce and cilantro if using fresh. Allow to cook until mixture is a thick paste. If you've added your greens supplement it will look slightly grey, but don't be turned off- the taste should be unaltered. At this point add salt or additional spice to taste.

Serve in a wrap with salsa, a light shaving of cheddar or soy cheese and additional vegetables if you prefer.